Warning: This next issue is not for the squeamish…
The M Word ~ Issue 4
Changing Your Mindset (cont.)
And the truth shall set you free…
Now that we’ve cleared away some common misconceptions, you may be experiencing cautious optimism. On one hand, you might feel brighter and more hopeful on the subject of money. On the other, you might be feeling a little wary or unsettled. Welcome to taking control of your finances! As you continue forward, you will sense the earlier “excuses” slipping away, leaving you with the weight of personal responsibility and nowhere to hide. It’s not always the most comfortable thing at first, but it is the first step towards FREEDOM. This is why I always tell my clients that the ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH. Anyone who truly believes that “ignorance is bliss” is just a prisoner who’s gotten used to living in a jail cell. Believe me when I say that if you honestly do this next step, you will blow away any mental barriers that are preventing you from accumulating wealth and becoming financially free.
Especially, if you have persistent financial difficulties…especially, if you feel like you have “bad luck” and “nothing seems to work” when it comes to money, please consider the following carefully.
Here is the last and possibly most brutal aspect of why people can’t earn, accumulate and keep money: FINANCIAL TRANSGRESSIONS.
By FINANCIAL TRANSGRESSIONS, I mean anything we’ve done or not done with money that we are ashamed of, that makes us feel bad, or that we are hiding.
Before I was a financial consultant, I was a counselor for over a decade. The one thing I can tell you without hesitation is that the areas that give my clients the greatest stress, upset and heartache are the areas where they have committed the most transgressions.
I genuinely believe that we are all human and make mistakes, but that deep down we are also good and that is why we run into trouble and have a tendency to “self-sabotage”. It’s as if we somehow want to punish ourselves.
We also become “blind” and “stupid” in certain areas because we don’t want to be reminded of our wrongdoings. It follows that the more unaware we are and the more we avoid, the less control we have. Less control means more problems…and so a kind of dwindling spiral can start to happen. This is especially true of relationships, work, and finances.
I want to stress here that my purpose is not to make you feel guilty and miserable. The end result of this step is that you should feel greatly relieved and can now face and take control of your finances.
Over the years I have heard everything. Financial transgressions can be anything associated with money. It can be something like the time you stole money from your mom’s purse when you were a kid, the time you lied to your husband about how much you spent on new shoes, the personal loans you never paid back to friends and family, or that time you didn’t make a donation/offering at church……
These transgressions could even be something harder to admit like stealing, gambling, padding your hours, overcharging, providing poor goods or services, selling illegal drugs, paying for sex or porn, dating/marrying someone for money, not paying taxes, taking bribes/kickbacks, etc.
I could probably write a book listing every single transgression big and small — like I said, I’ve heard it all!
Now, realize that some items on your list will be things that you don’t actually think are wrong, but still have a way of making you feel bad. An example of this would be knowing that your father would never approve of how much you spent on a new car. Or maybe you feel bad because you watched a commercial about starving children in a third world country and, not only didn’t make a donation, but later threw away food that could have fed some starving child somewhere…
And let’s not forget the endless variations of how we spent money on something unnecessary instead of being “responsible”? Need I go on?
It is my heartfelt wish that you just take a moment to reflect on whatever might be preventing you from truly taking control of your finances and becoming wealthier. Acknowledge what you’ve done, then forgive yourself and MOVE ON with the determination to do better. Just know that you are a good person.
If this subject produces a strong negative reaction (e.g. you can’t stop crying, can’t get out of bed, want to punch everything in sight, etc.), please reach out to me and I will help you through this vital step with absolutely no judgement. I have definitely seen how transgressions can ruin a person’s life and I can tell you that giving yourself some relief will not only make you a much happier person, but it will allow you to start turning around the areas of your life that are giving you the most trouble.